


all of this, someday, will pass

by princealliance (anaksemuabangsa)



Category: NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Post-Break Up, and does not get back together, jaeyong broke up, side johnny/doyoung, side kai/mark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 13:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21429208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anaksemuabangsa/pseuds/princealliance
Summary: Mark's face is unreadable, Taeyong thinks he looks sad, but that might also be the alcohol in Taeyong's system speaking. Taeyong shifts around until his head is pillowed on Mark's lap properly and reaches a hand up, patting Mark's cheek. "Don't fall in love, Mark-ya, it's not worth it."orJaehyun and Taeyong break up, and Taeyong tries to learn to live with it by living vicariously through Mark.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun & Lee Taeyong, Kim Jongin | Kai/Mark Lee (NCT), Lee Taeyong & Mark Lee
Comments: 4
Kudos: 88





	all of this, someday, will pass

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm back after a long, long while. I think this is my goodbye to Jaeyong, for a while. I wrote this in about two hours so. Please let me know if there's any mistakes or typos. Enjoy!

"You look a little bit too infatuated."

"Do I?" The corners of Mark's mouth turn downward. He looks at Taeyong.

Taeyong doesn't know what he was expecting. A flustered Mark, maybe, denying everything and anything that has Jongin and feelings in the same sentence. A laughing Mark, brushing off his teasing as only that: teasing. He doesn't expect the small, sardonic smile Mark sends his way, or the sad slope of his eyebrows, definitely doesn't expect Mark to pat his arm and say, "at least my infatuation won't cause Cold War Two."

Taeyong flushes, his face feels hot. "That was mean."

Mark's eyes slides downwards. He adjusts his glasses with his knuckles and stares at Jongin, not even an ounce of guilt on his face. "I'm sorry," Mark says anyways. "Too soon?" This was serious, then. If Mark isn't pulling his punches.

"No." Taeyong sighs. "Too mean."

-

He watches Mark dance around Jongin. Watches his eyes crinkle in delight as he laughs at something Jongin says. Watches him cling onto Jongin's arm, grins wide, all his teeth showing. He feels like he's watching a copy of himself from all those years ago.

He gets it.

He also doesn't want Mark to get hurt.

-

The dimly lit room spins around him. Alcohol is strong inside his nostrils as he inhales the nth shot that night. Taeyong shudders, slamming the shot glass back down, sliding sideways as he does; he'd always been a lightweight. He grabs at Mark, slinging his arms around the younger boy.

"Boys are fuckin' horrible," Taeyong slurs into Mark's shoulder.

Mark laughs, holds Taeyong's wrists and pushes him away. Taeyong makes a noise of protest.

"No, hyung," Mark says, eyes full of mirth. Even in the gauzy light of the private room Mark looks solid. Like nothing can faze him. "Your taste in boys is just horrible."

"Mark-ya," Taeyong whines, relentless. He presses himself against Mark, letting himself go limp until Mark has no choice but to have Taeyong draped over his lap. "Minhyung," Taeyong slurs. "Don't grow up so fast, don't leave me too."

Mark's face is unreadable, Taeyong thinks he looks sad, but that might also be the alcohol in Taeyong's system speaking. Taeyong shifts around until his head is pillowed on Mark's lap properly and reaches a hand up, patting Mark's cheek. "Don't fall in love, Mark-ya, it's not worth it." His hand is sticky against Mark's smooth skin, he scrunches his face and retracts his hand, wiping it on his pant leg.

If Taeyong wasn't sure before, he's sure of it now, Mark is looking at him with sad eyes. And something about it makes Taeyong feel like he's exposed, insides left open exclusively for Mark to see. Mark doesn't know what happened. Nobody does. Then why does it feel like Mark can look past all his bullshit?

He gets up so fast he almost knocks his head on Mark's chin. He pulls his shirt tighter around his chest self-consciously. He feels raw; too open. Too sober for the amount of Tequila he drank. The alcohol seems to have lost its mind-numbing effect.

Taeyong swallows. "Don't look at me like that," he hisses. Taeyong feels broken. Unworthy.

Mark doesn't say anything, just grabs Taeyong's wrist, tugs him up. "Let's go back, hyung. You're drunk."

Yuta and Johnny and Doyoung isn't there to pick up his pieces, nevermind _Jaehyun,_ but Mark is there, and Mark makes a good enough replacement, he guesses.

-

Jongin corners him before they start practice, puts a calming hand on his shoulder.

"Taeyongie, are you alright?"

Taeyong smiles, it's hard not to around Jongin. He's always well-meaning, always full of cheer, always so careful.

"I'm alright hyung, what's up?"

"Mark told me you haven't been feeling well."

Something must've changed on Taeyong's face, because Jongin frowns. "I'm fine, hyung," Taeyong replies. It's easier to bite that out these days. He's repeated it enough to make it believable. He's smiling, see? He's breathing, see? He's alright.

"Well," Jongin scratches his head absentmindedly, pulling his ballcap down. He leans against the wall and even under the cap, Taeyong can see his eyes searching through the practice room. They stop on Mark, and he smiles. Taeyong can't decide if he's aware he's doing it at all or not. "You know where to find me if you need me."

"Yeah, of course, hyung."

Then those eyes are on him, and Jongin's wide grin is on him too. "Take it easy, Taeyongie, we're here if you need us."

Taeyong's throat suddenly feels tight. "Yeah, hyung." He swallows. "Thank you."

-

Spain happens, and he and Jaehyun are forced into a carriage together. It's romantic as hell. It makes Taeyong sick to his stomach. The hordes of fans following them doesn't help.

It's tense in the carriage, Jaehyun wouldn't look at him, and Taeyong keeps his gaze trained on Johnny and Doyoung on the carriage ahead of them. Johnny not-so-discreetly slithers his arm across the back of the carriage, and Doyoung, in response, not-so-discreetly shuffles closer. Johnny pulls his phone out, and Taeyong can already hear the excuse coming out of his mouth on _why_ they were sitting so close.

Taeyong smiles despite himself, crosses his arms and juts his chin out. "When did _that_ happen?"

"Um," Jaehyun answers smartly. Taeyong tilts his head but doesn't move any closer. There's a centimeter of space between them that they both don't want to cross. "It's been a while," he explains.

"It's an odd combination, never thought that would happen."

Jaehyun snorts. "Between keeping Yuta from trying to tear out my throat and Mark from tearing out yours, I guess they sort of got closer." 

Taeyong grins. "We were that bad huh."

"Are," Jaehyun corrects softly. "We're still that bad."

Taeyong hums.

If this was seven months ago, he would turn to Jaehyun, press in for a quick kiss. Grin when he blushes. If this was seven months ago, he would sneak a hand between them, hold Jaehyun's hand throughout the ride, rest his head on his shoulder. But this is here, and now, and Taeyong and Jaehyun are not together anymore. This is here, and now, and Taeyong doesn't know if he can look at Jaehyun without hurting.

But he can try.

"Do you regret--" Jaehyun pauses, "do you regret it?"

"Us breaking up?"

Jaehyun nods.

Taeyong lets himself think, lets the question give in its weight in this weird, new atmosphere they have. The first one in months where it isn't entirely made up of tension and hurt.

"No," Taeyong admits. "I think it's what we needed, don't you?" Taeyong braves himself, risks a glance at Jaehyun. There's a lock of stray brown hair going into his eyes. Makes Jaehyun blink repeatedly because he'd rather be uncomfortable than not look good. Taeyong itches to brush it away out of habit, but doesn't. Can't.

"I think so too."

Taeyong lets their statements hang in the air. It's the first time they've been able to be civil to each other for more than five minutes. Taeyong takes a breath, then two. "I don't regret us, but I regret the way we handled it."

He turns, only slightly, to face Jaehyun. "I'm sorry, for all the things I've said that hurt you."

"Me too," Jaehyun replies hastily. "I'm sorry, too."

"I love you, you know," Taeyong adds.

"I know," Jaehyun replies, he smiles, dimples showing. It's the same smile that made him fall in love all those years ago. But not anymore, not now, not when they've outgrown each other. "I'll always love you too, hyung."

"Great," Taeyong smiles. This time, it doesn't feel forced when he does it, it feels real. "Friends?" Taeyong asks, bumping his shoulder against Jaehyun.

"Friends."

-

"So you're saying you used me for character development?"

Taeyong rolls his eyes, but it's fond. "No, I'm saying we used each other for character development," he explains. "It's like when a character conveniently disappears from a series after they've done their part in furthering the plot."

"You used me for plot?" Jaehyun pouts. "That's mean."

He smacks Jaehyun's shoulder. "You used me for plot too!"

"Besides," Taeyong drawls, "I heard there's a new love interest in your story right now."

Jaehyun looks like a deer in headlight, ears turning tomato red. He pulls his shirt up over his face. "No there isn't."

"So you're into younger guys now, huh?"

"Hyung," Jaehyun whines, pushing at Taeyong.

"Just don't let Mark know." Taeyong laughs, and Jaehyun whines at him some more. It almost feels like old times. 

-

"Glad you enjoyed that ride," Taeyong comments, pointedly looking at Doyoung and Johnny's linked pinkies, an eyebrow raised.

Doyoung snatches his hand back like it's burned, and Johnny suddenly finds an electrical store _very _interesting.

Taeyong giggles. "Jaehyun-ah," he calls to Jaehyun, who's walking behind them, the camera is on him and he's stopped beside Johnny, attracted by whatever Johnny pointed out to him.

Jaehyun hums. "Yes hyung?"

Doyoung raises _his_ eyebrows and sends Taeyong a _look._

Taeyong stares back at Doyoung. "Do you want ice cream?" Taeyong asks.

Jaehyun ponders before answering. "Sure."

Doyoung gapes at him, Taeyong beams. "Alright, let's get ice cream, my treat."

-

"Good to know you've made up," Doyoung sidles up to him, a chocolate cone in his hand.

"Good to know you're getting laid," Taeyong replies. Doyoung drops his ice cream. Taeyong eyes it in dismay. "I'm not buying you another one of those."

-

Backstage is a mess of hustle and bustle, Taeyong loves it, loves the electricity in the air just before a concert starts. It's maddening, like a slow push and pull with the universe. It makes him feel bold, so bold he claps a hand on Jongin's shoulder.

"Hyung!" Taeyong shouts over the roaring crowd.

Jongin yells back. "Yeah?"

"Break Mark's heart and I'll break your neck!"

Jongin looks terrified, but he nods anyways. "I won't!"

"See that you don't," Taeyong replies, before they step on the elevator, and they're hoisted out into the Chicago crowd.

-

"What did you say to Jongin-hyung?" Mark asks nonchalantly. It's dim again, but this time, it's because all the lights are focused on stage.

"Some things." It's always a pleasure to see their Exo sunbaes perform, but seeing them from the side of the stage is something else. Taeyong feels privileged, grateful. Mark snorts from beside him, he's twisting his necklace nervously, the new one that Mark won't explain the source of. They're not even the ones performing but Mark is nervous. Figures.

"Why don't you tell Baekhyun-hyung the same 'things' then?"

"I don't want to encroach on Kun's territory."

Mark doesn't reply.

Taeyong sighs. He dares to put a hand on Mark's shoulder. "Look Mark, I know the way I acted wasn't... right. Or correct. I've learned from that. I'll do better in the future. Okay? I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

Mark looks at Taeyong's hand on his shoulder, then at Taeyong, and sighs too, like he's tired. Like he's been tired these past seven months. "I'm sorry, too," he says. "It's just-- I expected a lot from you, you know, hyung? I look up to you a lot," Mark admits. "And when you and Jaehyun-hyung broke up and dragged us with you into the mess I just--" Mark lets out a frustrated huff, throwing his hands up. "127 means a lot to me, and I didn't want things messed up just because of... _feelings_," Mark winces. "But," he starts again, softer this time. "I think I get it now, how big of a deal it actually was."

Taeyong wants to laugh out loud, god, Mark is so in _love_ he doesn't even know it yet. He settles for a grin instead, and both arms around Mark, squeezing. "I'm glad you have someone in your life."

Mark complains at him but doesn't actually make any move to push him away. Taeyong presses his cheek against Mark's. "Fall in love, Mark-ya," he whispers, "and be happy."

"Hyung, what are you saying?" Mark whines. "Let go, the showcase is starting."

"Alright, alright," Taeyong chuckles.

The speakers start playing the intro of Obsession, bass booming, Jongin catches Mark's eye from the darkened stage, and winks. Mark blushes.

Taeyong watches Mark watching Jongin, and lets himself heal.

**Author's Note:**

> It feels appropriate that it should end on kaimark and johndo and just a hint of baekhei. Thank you for reading my work. Let me know what you think. Also, catch me on twt with the username starlighthyun. Goodbye for now!


End file.
